Vegetarian Vampire
It was a clear, crisp night. In a dimly lit alley, Vincent, a well-dressed vampire with slicked-back hair and a sharp suit, eyed his prey—a middle-aged man searching his pockets for his house keys.
“Perfect,” Vincent murmured to himself.
But as he lunged at the man, an unexpected thought stopped him in his tracks. “Do I really want to do this? Do I want to be the reason for another fainting spell, another tale of a mysterious creature in the night?” Vincent thought.
Shaking his head in confusion, Vincent took to the skies, soaring over the rooftops to his mansion. Upon entering his grand home, he found his friend and confidant, Raphael, lounging on a plush red sofa.
“Vincent!” Raphael exclaimed. “Why do you look so pale? I mean, paler than usual.”
Vincent sighed, sinking into a nearby chair. “Raphael, I had a revelation tonight. I don’t want to drink human blood anymore. I want to be… a vegetarian.”
Raphael spat out the blood he was sipping from his goblet. “Are you out of your undead mind?”
Vincent nodded solemnly. “I’m serious. I want to find a new way of life. There has to be an alternative to blood.”
Raphael raised an eyebrow. “Alright then, Mr. Veggies. What’s the plan?”
Vincent’s eyes lit up. “Well, I’ve heard that humans drink this red liquid called tomato juice. Maybe it tastes like blood?”
Raphael snorted. “Tomato juice? Really? Well, we have some in the pantry, courtesy of our last human guest.”
Vincent quickly went to the pantry, fetched a can of tomato juice, and poured it into a glass. Taking a deep breath, he took a sip. A look of disappointment crossed his face. “It’s… watery.”
Raphael laughed. “What did you expect? It’s a fruit. Or a vegetable. I don’t know. I never paid attention during botany class.”
Vincent frowned. “This isn’t going to work. I need something with more substance. Like a smoothie! I’ve heard humans talk about these all the time!”
Raphael shrugged. “There are beetroots in the kitchen. They’re deep red and thick. Maybe they’ll do the trick?”
Wasting no time, Vincent blended the beetroots with some water, ice, and a pinch of salt. After a couple of minutes, a dark red smoothie was ready. He took a big gulp, and his face contorted.
“Too… earthen!” Vincent coughed.
Raphael chuckled, enjoying his friend’s antics. “I appreciate the effort, Vincent, but this might be a longer journey than you thought.”
Vincent looked determined. “I’m not giving up. There has to be something out there. And I’ll find it.”
Raphael sighed. “Very well. But remember, you’ll need to find it before the Blood Ball next month.”
Vincent’s eyes widened. The annual Blood Ball, where all the high-class vampires gathered to celebrate their existence with the finest blood cocktails. He had completely forgotten about it.
“I’ll be ready,” Vincent vowed.
And so, with a beetroot-stained smile and a newfound purpose, Vincent’s quest to find the perfect blood substitute had begun.
The next morning, or rather, the next evening for the nocturnal Vincent, he decided to venture where he’d never set foot before: the local health food store. With the sun having set, Vincent draped himself in a fashionable cloak and headed into the bustling town.
The health food store was lit with soft warm lights and had a scent of fresh greens and essential oils. As he entered, a friendly sales assistant named Clara approached him. “Hi there! Looking for something specific?”
Vincent cleared his throat. “Yes, actually. I’m looking for… alternatives to blood.”
Clara looked puzzled. “Alternatives to…blood? Like for cooking?”
Vincent blushed, an impressive feat for a vampire. “Uh, sort of. I’m trying to find a drink that’s similar in taste and texture.”
Clara thought for a moment, then her face lit up. “Ah! I’ve got just the thing.” She led Vincent to an aisle filled with an array of juices. “How about pomegranate juice? It’s rich, tangy, and full-bodied. Some say it has a depth of flavor akin to a good red wine.”
Vincent, intrigued, purchased a bottle and took a sip. The flavor burst in his mouth. “This is… closer!” he exclaimed.
Delighted by his response, Clara suggested, “If you’re open to it, you might also want to try our fresh spirulina and chlorella shots. They’re deep green, but they’re thick and have a certain… earthy robustness.”
Vincent raised an eyebrow but decided to give it a shot, quite literally. The taste was different, a tad swampy, but it was the consistency he’d been yearning for. “This might just work as a base,” he mused.
“Glad I could help,” Clara said with a smile. “Come back anytime!”
Vincent left the store with bags filled with an assortment of juices, shots, and even some protein powders to experiment with.
As he reached home, Raphael was waiting. “Looks like someone went on a shopping spree. What did you find?”
Vincent excitedly showed Raphael his finds. “Pomegranate juice, spirulina, chlorella shots, and even almond milk! I think I can make a concoction that mimics blood.”
Raphael smirked. “Alright, Dr. Veggie-stein, let’s see what you’ve got.”
For hours, the kitchen turned into a mad scientist’s lab. Vincent tried various combinations, using the thick chlorella shots as a base and adding other ingredients for flavor.
After numerous attempts and a very messy kitchen, Vincent concocted a drink that looked and tasted remarkably like blood. He named it “Vamp-veggie Delight.”
Raphael, although skeptical, took a sip. His eyes widened. “Vincent, you might be onto something!”
Vincent beamed. “It’s not perfect, but it’s a start.”
The night ended with the two of them clinking their glasses filled with Vamp-veggie Delight, hopeful for a blood-free future.
